


Too Beautiful to Cry

by Wonwoo_Aegi



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Choi San is Whipped, Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Yelling, description of panic attack, no beta we die like men, other members mentioned - Freeform, poor wooyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:28:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24634582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonwoo_Aegi/pseuds/Wonwoo_Aegi
Summary: Wooyoung is trying really hard to stay focused in practice, but their new manager decides it's not good enough. San is there for his boyfriend to comfort.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 7
Kudos: 100





	Too Beautiful to Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first fic on here. Hope you enjoy!

"Geonbaehaja like a thunder-" Answer starts simply like any other time, but Wooyoung knows he's being watched this time. Ateez' newest manager sat off to the side, watching the boys like a . Wooyoung knew that he was being criticized most, the manager had pulled him aside the other day to let him know that he needed work. 

This statement alone had set off Wooyoung's already rising anxiety, he was more self-conscious. What if he wasn't as good as the others? He couldn't dance like San and he sure as hell couldn't sing like Jongho. What could he do? Nothing. 

As he asked the questions in his mind, he wasn't paying attention to what was going ono around him during the practice. During one part, he tripped over Mingi and faceplanted on the ground. The stopped and Wooyoung could hear people above him, he tried to dry the tears in his eyes before he sat up. Hands encircled his arms and helped pull him up. He sat with his legs crossed on the ground, poling at his face when he heard a sigh from across the room. He didn't need to look, he could already identify who had made that sound.

"Wooyoung, you and I talked about this before rehearsal today. You were supposed to put all of your effort into today's practice to show me that you actually belong in this group! Do you even want to be in this group?!" the new manager's voice went from quiet to booming in no time. His volume level actually made Wooyoung flinch into the hands rubbing his back. The hands he would find out to later be his boyfriend, San's. The pressure of the hands intensified as the younger boy trembled.

Their manager sighed, "Wooyoung, come with me. The rest of you need to stay here and practice, maybe go onto some other songs as a review?" San looked hesitant, leaving Woo alone with this dude and his anger issues was not good. Wooyoung stood up and smiled to San, letting him know that he was fine and that he would be back in no time. San didn't like the idea, but dropped Wooyoung's hand. Said boy smiled at the others and gave them reassuring glances, he apologized to Mingi and left the room with the manager. 

Out in the hall, Wooyoung walked with the manager, he kept walking until his arm was yanked and he was slammed into the wall. They were a pretty good distance from the practice room, so it was unlikely that they would have heard him. The pain in his body sharpened and he winced, when he opened his eyes his manager was glaring at him, his face so close Wooyoung could feel his . 

"I'm sorry for messing up the choreogrpahy, Hyung-nim, I was just getting in my own head. It really won't happen again-" 

"You're right, it won't happen again, because there will not be another practice for you." the manager snarled, "I'm going to make sure that you are kicked out of this group for your lack of talent and hard work. Go back to the dorm and I'll tell the boys you aren't feeling well. I want you gone by the time they finish their practice, do you understand?" he violently whispered at Wooyoung who had started crying and shaking, his panic attack minutes, maybe seconds away from hitting him at full force. He nodded his head and ran from the building, not bothering to pick up his things from the practice room.

Leaving? Wooyoung didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave the group, his family, his boyfriend, but his suspicions were confirmed. He didn't belong here, he was worthless, he was only bringing the group down. It became harder and harder to to normally, he couldn't see anything because of the tears in his eyes but he knew he was stumbling towards the dorm. Only a couple more buildings, he had come so far that his lungs were burning and he could barely feel anything. 

Once he ahd made it into the , he staggered into his and Yeosang's shared room. Before he could move any further to gather any of his things, he collapsed. His head hurt like a mother and his lungs were about ready to give out. He tried to rationlaize with his brain, but it wouldn't budge. It only screamed, "No good! Loser! Not good enough! Never good enough! You're gonna die! Die slowly and painfully!" He clutched his chest and tried to scream, but it came out broken and breathy. He was so dizzy, he couldn't tell which way was up and which was down. He was close to passing out, he knew that if he didn't get his breathing under control, he was gonna pass out. But he felt so close to death, it's inevitable, I'm gonna die right here, he thought. 

All of a sudden, hands engulfed his body and he felt too hot, he squirmed thinking it was their manager, but was shocked to hear San's voice, he reached for him and caught his face/ Wooyoung felt to make sure it was him and San let him, because the tears in his eyes made it hard to see along with the overwhelming sense of panic. San grabbed his boyfriend around the waist and pulled him onto his lap.

As soon as the manager had come back in without Wooyoung and told them that Wooyoung wouldn't be joining because he felt ill, he immediately looked at Hongjoong, the leader had looked at San and told him to go. Wooyoung wouldn't just leave without gathering his things, his phone was still here. Plus, Wooyoung looked like he was about to break when he had fallen, San knew it was a matter of time before his boyfriend's wonderful mental illness consumed him. So he grabbed his and Wooyoung's things and bolted from the studio.

The door to their dorm was left ajar and San became worried, he dropped their things and ran to the source of the faints, but heavy breathing. He almost let out a sob when he saw the love of his life in what seemed to be one of his worse states of a panic attack. He dropped to his knees and grasped at Wooyoung and was terrified to learn that he would turn away and squirm. After reassuring Wooyoung, he let his boyfriend reach out and touch his face. He pulled Wooyoung onto his lap and the only thing left to do was calm him down.

"Okay, baby, I need you to breathe with me. If you can hear me, I'm going to move your hand and put it on my chest, if you can feel my heartbeat then I will need you to try and breathe with me, okay?" He grabs his love's hand and places it on his chest, though he panicks on the inside, he has to breathe normally, he has to help Wooyoung. 

It took a while, almost 30 minutes to get Wooyoung to breathe normally. Even after calming him down, Wooyoung continued to cry. He sobbed against San's shoulder, clutching at the back of his and wetting it with tears. San calmly rubbed his back and shushed him. Wooyoung was rocked back and forth. When he thought that Wooyoung stopped crying, he pulled him away, still rubbing his back. San pulled away far enough to rest his forehead against his boyfriend's. Wooyoung looked tired and his eyes drooped, but he looked at San and his eyes rewatered.

"No, baby, look at me. Why are you crying? What's wrong? Huh" San quickly kissed his boyfriend's nose, and continued to rub his back. Wooyoung tiredly shook his head and rested it against San's, he clutched San's and shuddered. San smoothed through Wooyoung's hair and kissed his temple. 

"Tell me, my love, are you okay? What happened, how did your panic attack start? Do you know the trigger?" San rapid fired questions and Wooyoung couldn't comprehend, so he shook his head and reached up to San's face and wiped at his cheek, his forehead brushed against San's and a few tears dropped from his eyes.

"Aegi," Wooyoung said, "I have to go, I'm not good for this. I have to leave, I can't be here. He said-" San cut him off with kiss to the corner of his lips. San tugged him closer and held Wooyoung's face to his neck.

He whispered, "Who, my love? Who told you that you had to leave? Who told you that you didn't belong with us? With me? Right here?" Wooyoung began to shake and his cries escaped his mouth once again. 

"Manager-nim, he- he told me. H-he said that I h-had to leave before y-you came back." his words ended in a sob and he violently shook. He was so tired though, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. But everytime he was close, he would remember that he needed to leave. So he would , wanting to get out of his lovers' embrace, but San would tighten his grip, not letting Wooyoung go. 

Unbeknownst to Wooyoung, San was also shaking. San was shaking however, because he was livid. The only thing San could see was red, he wanted to murder that man for making his baby feel worse, for telling him that he didn't belong in the group and that he should leave.

After a while, San had felt Wooyoung relax, his grip faltering and his hand sliding down San's body. San continued to rock his boyfriend back and forth, he was mad, and he had grabbed his phone and dialed the first person, which happened to be Yunho, he had told Yunho quickly and quietly what had happened and Yunho hung up to tell Hongjoong and then they would be on their way back. Instead of Wooyoung leaving, their new manager would be the one to leave.

When the boys arrived, Woosan were still cuddled up on the floor, San gripping a sleeping Wooyoung like he was never going to let him go. When Seonghwa walked up and put his hand on San's shoulder, San turned his head as if he hadn't heard them come in. All the members stood at the door to their room, and stared at the couple, some walked in and some walked out after giving angry or scared looks. Seonghwa went to help take Wooyoung out of San's arms and San hesitated, he never said it out loud, but the thought that Wooyoung could have left without him knowing was terrifying. San didn't want to let the sleeping boy in his arms go. 

"San, let go so I can lay him on the bed-" Seonghwa began,

"I can do it, hyung. I don't want him anywhere away from me right now, he's not allowed to leave us." San began, he wasn't willing to let Wooyoung go until his boyfriend confirmed he wouldn't be leaving. Seonghwa sighed and told San that he would help them both stand and lead them to the bed. Carefully, San shifted so that he could carry Wooyoung and Seonghwa stood behind them. As they were brought to the bed, Wooyoung was layed down and San got under the covers next to him bringing his head into his chest, Wooyoung sighed contently and snuggled into San.

In the rest of the dorm, you could hear Hongjoong on the phone yelling at some higher-up about hiring an awful manager. Seonghwa was making some for the two boys and Mingi was trying to talk Jongho and Yeosang and Yunho down from their rampage, they were going to go kill a bitch. And San lay there with his baby, singing to him and loving him, making sure that he knows that he is wanted and loved and the most perfect human being. 

Later that night, as Wooyoung's eyes fluttered open and he saw his lovely boyfriend staring down at him with so much love and concern. Wooyoung smiled lazily and snuggled into San's neck.

"Hi, my baby, are you feeling better? We took care of the manager, you know he wasn't right, right? You deserve to be in this group and we probably couldn't even function without you, you are so important." San threw out, and breathed before he continued, "Wooyoung, I don't know what I would have done if you had left before I got here, I wouldn't have been able to find you and that would've scared me the most, you can't leave us. You can't... you can't leave me. That is not an option because-" this time, San finds himself being cut off with a kiss. 

"I would never leave you, my love. Any of you, you are too important to me, okay? He was just scaring me and making me feel insecure, but if I had left, I wouldn't have been able to spend 5 minutes away, knowing that you were worried about me. I love you too much," he paused, "But sometimes, I do feel like I don't belong or I'm not good enough..." Wooyoung trailed off, eyes closing, and San just hugged him tighter.

"Baby, I can't promise that those thoughts will go away instantly, but I promise, you are more that perfect and you belong because I love you and they love you and we are a family. It's always 8 makes 1 team, not 7." San looks at his lover, and strokes his cheek, looking lovingly into the eyes that are now filled with tears.

"Don't cry my love, we are all here for you and always will be. There's no reason to cry now, besides, crying makes your face look all puffy." Wooyoung looked up, offended and smacked his boyfriend on the chest. He put his head back down and they snuggled for a bit longer, each content in their little paradise.

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats if you've made it this far! Let me know if y'all want to read something. I write for most K-pop groups!


End file.
